Broken Toy

Okay...if you couldn't have already guessed I wasn't successful at getting pregnant again. I'm not going to be too mushy and sad about it here, but I feel I still need to blog this. Heck, that is why I started this blog in the first place to write about my trials and tribulations with this whole journey. It hurts to be unsuccessful again, especially when you have people around you enjoying their pregnancy or new baby. Anyway, I'm just going to use the lyrics of a song to speak for me.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Lyrics by the Beatles

My Oldest Friendship

Here is a picture of me and my friend, Kathy. We have know each other since we were a month old....we are exactly a month apart in age...I'm 7-29 and she is 8-29. Kathy and I lived across the street from one another in Wantagh, New York. Her father is my Godfather! Throughout the years, we have lost touch here and there, but we always seem to find each other again.

My friend, Kathy had a baby boy five days ago...his picture is below. Congratulations my friend!!!!

Antonio was born on Monday, February 13, 2006 at 8:35am by Cesarean section. He was 6 pounds 13 ounces and 19.5 inches long. He was a day late. He lives in Austin, Texas with his happy mommy and daddy.

Our 5th Valentine's Day!

John and I celebrated our 5th Valentine's Day four days ago! We finally made it to Beau Jo's! On our first Valentine's, we had planned to go to Beau Jo's for dinner, but Mother Nature had a different plan. Due to snow, we ended up stopping in Evergreen at El Rancho. A fancy restaurant that we were underdressed for, but we still had fun.

On this years Valentine's, we ate pizza and had ice cream at Dairy Queen afterwards. I got John two beanie baby bears that were attached and said "I Love You, Forever". I also bought him a sweet card and lots of chocolate--his favorite, chocolate covered marshmallow hearts. Mmmmmmm! John got me a very cute groundhog stuffed animal, a M&M candy guy, and a very sweet card with Winnie the Pooh. We decided to name the groundhog Evergreen, since that is the town we celebrated our 1st Valentine's Day in. We also decided that the groundhog is Italian, and we need to find him an Italian shirt. Cute!

I'm using this song in this blog, because one of our Dance Dance Revolution songs, that John and I liked to dance to, is this song, "Heaven"...it's a remix on DDR, but the original artist is Bryan Adams. These are his lyrics below:

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free

Now nothin' can take you away from me
We bin down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

N' baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've bin waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

Curious George Icon

Here is a picture of my new icon on Instant Messenger. I think it is very cute! I like Curious George, and I like that he is painting.

This song is totally unrelated to this blog, but I'm still trying get through tough things in my life. I think this song fits into that.

Learn To Be Still by The Eagles

It's just another day in paradise as you stumble to your bed.
You'd give anything to silence those voices ringing in your head.
You thought you could find happiness just over that green hill.
You thought you would be satisfied but you never will learn to be still, learn to be still.

We are like sheep without a shepherd, we don't know how to be alone.
So we wander 'round this desert and wind up following the wrong gods home.
But the flock cries out for another and they keep answering that bell.
And one more starry-eyed messiah meets a violent farewell. Learn to be still, learn to be still.

Now the flowers in your garden, they don't smell so sweet, so sweet.
Maybe you've forgotten the heaven lying at your feet.

There are so many contradictions in all these messages we send.
We keep asking how do I get out of here? Where do I fit in?
Though the world is torn and shaken, even if your heart is breaking,
it's waiting for you to awaken and someday you will learn to be still, learn to be still.
You just keep on running, keep on running…

Just Another Day...

I just found out this evening that my friend, Amanda is pregnant. She is due in August. I'm happy for her, but at the same time my heart is breaking. I want that for me! I just don't understand why I'm having such a hard time getting pregnant. It only took Amanda 3 months, and she was on birth control pills for awhile before she stopped to try to conceive. It doesn't really mean that much, but it can effect things for some women that have been on birth control pills for awhile. I don't want to sound selfish, but at the same time, I can't stop feeling so blue. I just don't get it! Maybe the doctor can help me tomorrow...I just need help before I lose my mind.

Good is good and bad is bad
You don't know which one you had
She put your books out on the sidewalk
Now they're blowing 'round
They won't help you when you're down

Love's on your list of things to do
To bring your good luck back to you
And if you think that everything's unfair
Would you care if you're the last one standing there

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And does it ever make you stop and wonder
If all your good times pass you by

I don't hold no mystery
But I can show you how to turn the key
Cause all I know is where I started
So downhearted
And that's not where you want to be

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And you could find a rock to crawl right under
If all your good times pass you by

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to rise
When your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don't belong
And you don't know why

And everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And does it ever make you stop and wonder
If all your good times pass you by

When the day is done
And the world is sleeping
And the moon is on its way to rise
When your friends are gone
You thought were so worth keeping
You feel you don't belong
Neither do I
Lyrics by Sheryl Crow

Something is Wrong....

My body is falling apart! I just haven't been feeling that great for three weeks now. My stomach has been upset on and off during that time. I don't know if it is too much stress getting to me or what. I've been feeling weak and tired, too. I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment for Friday, if I can, and see what might be going on. It could be my Thyroid or something else. I could say it was pregnancy related, but I got my period last week. *Sigh*