Somewhere Beyond the Sea

This is a picture of me, as a baby, with my dad and three older brothers.
Left to right: Chris, Michael, & Kevin.

My dad has been getting sick a lot lately. He was diagnosed a few months back with osteoporosis. Recently, skin cancer and a blood clot in the leg. He had two MRIs on Friday to rule out cancer and blood clots. Good news---no cancer! Bad news---blood clots on the lungs! He had a procedure done later on that Friday evening where they inserted a tube into the main artery through the neck that goes by his stomach. Something like that! The tube is suppose to eliminate blood clots and keep new ones from coming back. Thankfully, all of his problems have been caught early, so they are quickly taken care of but it still is hard to deal with. I'm not ready to lose my father! I won't ever be ready to lose the people I love even though it is a part of life. I just want my dad to be around long enough to enjoy his grandchildren and to be there to watch them grow. It is especially hard for me because John and I have been trying for 7 months now and so far nothing has worked. I just want to be a mom, and I want John to be a dad. I really need good things to start happening!

Here is the song lyrics from the band Modest Mouse.
I think it sums up what I'm feeling.

I backed my car into a cop car, the other day
Well he just drove off, sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off, it was all ok

And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on any way, well

A fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on exactly the same day
Well we'll float on, good news is on the way

And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, ok
And we'll all float on, alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't you worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

Alright already and we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy
We'll all float on...alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
No please dont worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy, we'll all float on

Alright already we'll all float on
(Alright)
No dont you worry we'll all float on
(Alright)
All float on...